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35 Thoughts We Might Have Had During Early-Morning Yoga

This week Team Wonderush attended an early-morning yoga class. It was traumatic having to get up, but we soldiered on and found a little bit of relaxation in the process. Of course, being based in London, that lasted all of seven seconds. But those seven seconds? Amazing. Here are some of the thoughts we had during our class, which might well be some you’ve had too. There’s no shame in it. Of course, we would say that:

  1. This is too early.
  2. I hope I don’t fall asleep if we have to lie on the mat.
  3. If I do, what if I snore?
  4. I can’t believe people do this every day.
  5. Man, I wish I looked like that person.
  6. Do I have to take my socks off?
  7. Do people seriously do this every day?
  8. No. I am an empowered, confident person who does not have these thoughts.
  9. I really do wish I looked like them, though.
  10. Ooh, they’ve got their own yoga mat. I bet they’re, like, a pro.
  11. Are they going to play this music the whole way through? This isn’t-
  12. Oh, actually, this is quite relaxing.
  13. Oh my god, I can’t even touch my toes.
  14. Can I Instagram this? People should know I did this.
  15. I bet that person’s tshirt never rides up.
  16. Stop staring at that person’s arse.
  17. Wait. What was that? I wasn’t listening.
  18. I don’t have a practise. Should I tell them I don’t have a practise? What’s a practise?
  19. Wait, my leg’s supposed to go where?
  20. Don’t fart, don’t fart, don’t fart.
  21. Don’t giggle, don’t giggle, don’t giggle.
  22. Man, this is actually pretty hard.
  23. I am a warrior in my warrior pose and my warrior name is Beyonce Pad Thai. I should probably get my own warrior name and stop stealing Mindy Lahiri’s.
  24. I don’t understand why people need hot yoga when normal yoga makes me sweat this much.
  25. I think I’m thinking too much.
  26. How does everybody just know what this stuff means?
  27. I wonder if the candles have ever set anything on fire.
  28. Seriously, don’t fart, don’t fart, don’t fart.
  29. I wish I’d eaten something before I got here.
  30. Seriously. Did anyone else just hear my stomach rumbling?
  31. I should definitely book my yoga retreat when I get home. I wonder if they’ll let me have three months off, or if I should just quit. I wonder how much it costs to get to the Andes.
  32. Was I always this tall?
  33. *Mental Facebook status drafting*
  34. *Mental ‘I’m so relaxed and cultured’ tweet planning*
  35. I am now officially relaxed. I am calm and centered. Woe betide the first motherfucker who ruins it.

Team Wonderush have all kinds of classes and experiences available across London, so if yoga isn’t your bag we probably have something else you like. You should definitely check out our main site to see what we have going on. We’re adding stuff all the time. We also attend a lot of the events in person, so we’ll probably see you around somewhere.

 

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