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5 Things That Tea Drinkers Inevitably Know

Tea is amazing. That much we’re aware of. Anyone reading this will undoubtedly agree with that sentiment and, if not, we humbly suggest that you might be reading the wrong post. Or maybe you’re looking for intel about how to better understand the tea drinkers in your life. Look no further:

1. We are automatically healthier.

There’s all kinds of news about how tea’s really good for you. That isn’t why we’re drinking it, but it’s still nice to know. We can sit and enjoy a steaming hot cup of health, and watch smugly while the cappuccino and hot chocolate fans of the world nurse their pretty much benefit-free beverages. Plus, all of those antioxidants are basically cancelling out the biscuits.

2. Literally any problem in the world can be fixed with tea.

Hungover? Tea. Dumped? Tea. Fired? Tea.

And, fine. After you’ve finished your tea there’s always the chance that your problems won’t be 100% gone. In fact, it’s quite likely. But you know what? Even if everything in the world is going all kinds of wrong, tea is still there. Tea is still warm. Tea is still comforting. That’s better.

3. There will always be people who basically just drink hot water, and it will always be weird.

“Oh, I take my tea really weak, thanks. If you just dip the bag in for a couple of seconds, that’s perfect.”

THEN WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING? Seriously. Enjoy your cup of tea-coloured boiling water, you strange person. A noble teabag died so that you could have that. We hope you’re pleased with yourself.

4. There’ll always be time for one last cup of tea.

Whatever time you get home on a Friday night, you can still put the kettle on. If you’re on the verge of running late for work, you’ll stick the kettle on quickly. If you have 5 minutes before you need to leave the house to catch a flight? Yup. Kettle on. Because priorities.

5. The heartbreaking realisation that the person who just got up is not going to put the kettle on.

Picture the scene: You’re in your living room. You see some movement from the corner of your eye. Somebody’s getting up. They look like they could be about to go to the kitchen. Your heart rate picks up. You start imagining the kind of tea you’re going to be holding in about five minutes time. You smile to yourself. And then at the last second that person takes a turn and heads to the front door, or to the bathroom, or out to the garden. Anywhere but the kitchen, basically. Your dreams are dashed. They don’t even realise.

If we’ve whet your appetite with all of our tea-talk, don’t forget there’s a fantastic tea-based experience available this week on Wonderush. Presented by Oblique, it promises to showcase ‘a whole new dimension of tea’, which sounds pretty bloody exciting. Team Wonderush are heading down there tomorrow – maybe we’ll see you?

Now. Isn’t it time someone put the kettle on?

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